Justin Bieber

I swore to myself I wouldn't do this. Actually, the first thing I swore was that, when (or if) I did end up writing this, it would be the most abusive amalgamation of words I could come up with. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to do research when I decide to slam people, if not to be able to make a stronger case, then to justify to myself that what I am about to write is okay. 

I am telling myself for the thousandth time that I should not have done that with Justin Bieber. 

So, for those of you who are (perhaps wonderfully) unaware of who this Justin Bieber is, let me Google him for you. I'll even add a picture: 

For everybody else, here is my surprisingly benign response to the world's newest celebrity.

But first - First Impression: little kid singing grown-up songs about falling in love with girls seemingly twice his height and age (this is purposely hyperbolic). Reasons to not like: 1) In spite of how obviously adorable this kid is, the point is that he is just that: a KID. He should not be singing songs that not too many twenty-year-olds can get away with. He needs to be at home, "building a tent-fort". (NB: Not my words. See ummmmheyyyy.) 2) In spite of how obviously adorable this kid is, he should not be flaunting his immediate effect on girls. It is not right. Or fair. 3) In spite of how obviously adorable this kid is, he cannot - and should not - get away with trying to act like Usher. He is not Usher. He is Usher's protege. There is a difference. (Uh...duh.) 4) He asked out Rihanna. In spite of how obviously adorable this kid is, you've got to be kidding me. And 5) He's Canadian. For some reason, that bothered me more than anything else. 

(Given my current patriotism, that one stuck. But not in the same way.)

So...I think this, more than anything else, proves that I am a truly shallow person. I am ashamed to admit that I judged him on these facts alone. (Although, in my defense, that is how one typically judges people, is it not?) And because of these facts alone, I have been judgmental to the point of hateful toward the young Justin Bieber, and for, it seems, all the wrong reasons. And thus, after some uncharacteristically thorough research, I have come up with a list of reasons why his fans have every right to be his fans, and my own opinion of him has done a 180.

THE LIST
1) When Mr. Bieber came out with his first few songs, he was 15. Admittedly, he looked younger than that, but that is hardly something he can be faulted for. "Haters" bash him for singing songs about love. After all, at 15, how can he know anything about the subject? Well here's a better question: who's to say he doesn't? There are plenty of people who are mature beyond their years. Hell, I felt I was capable of love when I was 15. I felt that way when I was 13. Many people did and do. Why shouldn't he? It's 15, not 5. We can therefore all scratch his song theme of choice as a reason to dislike him.

2) Justin has yet to fully hit puberty. That much is clear. That does not mean that he doesn't have talent. On the contrary, he is very, very talented. Shit, I wish I could play all the instruments he plays. Or sing half as well as he does. So his voice isn't a deep baritone. Big deal. He still sounds good, right? And don't say he doesn't, because that's bullshit. I had nothing against his voice even when I didn't like him. No argument.

3) The kid's cute. Let's all get it out now: he is a good-looking kid. His smile is worth screaming over. If you hate him for that fact, it's because you're jealous. If I were a boy, I'd be jealous, too. Luckily, I'm a girl, so I can get away with appreciating his looks for what they are: adorable. (New word of the day, folks.)

4) The songs. Let's face it: if Justin were four or five years older, it would be a lot easier to admit that his songs are good. Because they are. They're good songs. I refuse to listen to them on principle. (Actually, it's an act of self-preservation. As if I don't already feel pathetic, listening to a 15/16-year-old singing songs that I, under many other circumstances, would have no problem listening to on repeat is not the best way to make me feel any better about myself.) But that doesn't mean that there's anything particularly wrong with them, which is why there is nothing wrong with listening to them. The beats are pretty good, the lyrics are pretty good, and they're sung really well. Few of us have real issue with his songs - it's more the fact that he's the one signing them. (A stupid, petty reason, but we're only human.)

5) I accidentally came across a video of him playing live. He sings his heart out. He does it well. He can do it while playing on the piano or guitar. That is impressive. That warrants respect. And depression (at least, on my part, because I have yet to do anything nearly as impressive).

6) I equally accidentally (well, that's what I'm telling myself) came across a video of him with a three-year-old. It was sweet. He doesn't seem like an ass. That's commendable. And respectable. And depressing (because the list of reasons to dislike him just keeps getting smaller, doesn't it?)

7) He's got thirty million girls between the ages of 2 and 16 drooling over him (probably plenty of girls older than that, too). Big fucking deal. You want thirty million guys to be drooling over him? Thirty million adults? What? He appeals to that demographic. You have a problem with that, then you probably just have a problem in general. (Note: however, in spite of this, I refuse to believe that any of these fans have reason to cry when they see him. Why obsess over him if he reduces you to tears? Seriously. If you're a fan, smile and laugh, because you're supposed to be happy to see him. Not depressed. Unless you're me, but that's a whole different story.)

8) He didn't just happen to fall into where he is. He had to learn to play those instruments. He had to somehow show the world his voice. From what I have learned, he was on YouTube for years before he was discovered. And then when he was, it was down to work: learning new songs, singing them, recording them, filming videos, compiling CDs, traveling to play live, traveling to concerts, traveling to do interviews, publicity...on and on and on. It's hard work, people. Do not undermine what he does by insulting him.

9) Possibly amongst the most important: he's Canadian. How awesome is it that we seem to come out with so many talented people? (Irrelevant side-note: Hahahahaaaaa....I love how I can turn anything into a slam against the U.S. I have a feeling this might become a common theme.)

I believe all the above are reason enough to excuse the fact that he tries to act "G". He idolizes Usher. He wants to be like him. We all have our dreams, our hopes, our wishes. He does, too, and who are we to put him down for it? Who are we to try and demoralize him just because we may not necessarily agree with everything he does? 

In fact, who are we, really? Do you know who I am? No. Do I know who you are? No. Do we know who he is? Yes. Case closed.

In summation, I have nothing against Justin Bieber. In fact, I respect and admire him, something I am not used to saying about someone younger than I (and will therefore not repeat more than is absolutely necessary, i.e. to make a point). What he's achieved is pretty incredible. Plus, he's not Miley Cyrus, so that's huge.

I'm not saying that I'm going to be joining the throng of Bieber-obsessed girlies crowding elementary and high school hallways (makes me especially glad that I graduated the latter a semester early), because, like I said, his success depresses me. It makes me wonder why I haven't done anything to the same avail. Nevertheless, he is undeniably an inspiration, and deserves the respect of everyone, no matter who they (or you) are.

Docilely yours,
Aya

P.S. This will probably be the last positive post I write for a while, because so much shit has hit the fan recently, that there is tons of potential for wonderfully sarcastic and cynical rants. See you soon!