So, following the defeat of the U.S. in the finals of men's hockey, heat between Americans and Canadians has reached an all-time high. Everyone wants to prove that his or her country is better. Such debates are filling up comment spaces on such sites as Youtube, under such songs as "Oh...Canada" by such artists as Classified.
I find this hysterical for a number of reasons: 1) Americans can't find anything bad that's either new or true about Canada, continuing to repeat the typical spiel on igloos, fat-asses, and scrawny (or as some moron said, "scrony") weaklings; 2) Americans seem to forget that they have more fat-asses per square kilometer than we do people, and seem to be trying to block out the fact that we beat them in the most important sport in the Olympics (who's weak?). Plus, they have deluded themselves to the point where they think that starting moronic wars all over the world is a sign of strength, as opposed to unadulterated stupidity; 3) Americans refuse to believe that Canada has everything they do...and more. They still think that the U.S. is the better place to live in spite of us having consistently better quality of life; 4) the U.S. fucks the world over, but we're still standing with hardly a scratch; 5) Americans can't even articulate their insults well, sticking to a variety of "yo mamma" jokes that are excruciatingly simple, excruciatingly dull, and excruciatingly misspelled. Canadians rightly wonder what the hell these people's imaginary affairs with their mothers have to do with our country; and 6) because of how self-assured Canadians are, and because of all the information and proof they have as resources, they have been able to come up with some truly hilarious and witty comebacks to all the pathetic cracks taken at Canada. One of endless examples:
"Only in America will a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance."
I don't know about you, but I loved that one.
What Americans have yet to realize is that we clearly win, simply because we never start the fights in the first place. We're okay with ourselves. They, obviously, are not, and don't want us to be, either, therefore do everything in their power (so, not all that much, when you think about it) to try and demoralize us. Too bad it's having no effect, huh?
They just can't win. We have way too many advantages. Like the advantage of (in my completely unbiased opinion) a much better country.
Patriotically yours,
Aya
P.S. Read the comments for yourself for Classified's "Oh...Canada".
NOTE: This post has been written purely for entertainment and in jest. I don't actually have anything against Americans, and respect the United States. If not, I wouldn't be trying so hard to go to university there.
P.S. Read the comments for yourself for Classified's "Oh...Canada".
NOTE: This post has been written purely for entertainment and in jest. I don't actually have anything against Americans, and respect the United States. If not, I wouldn't be trying so hard to go to university there.
Ugh, I don't really agree with this one. National identities in the first world are all but gone. Especially in relation with Canada and the USofA. Everyone watches the same movies, the same idols and whatnot(Personally I couldn't care less for either, but apparently to most people that is half their lives). Also I'm under the impression that each day we become less citizens of a nation, and more citizens of corporations. Although I don't like to sound like a conspiracy theorist.
ReplyDeletePersonally anyone who is a nationalist or 'patriot' or preoccupies themselves with a baseless idea that their country is somehow better than another one, makes me weary. Keep spreading the hate people, there is not enough of it in this world.
America suffers the same problem as the rest of the world has throughout all history - and still does. Ignorance, fear and apathy are used to control, by those who are neither. It is the same here, as it is there. We care more about a movie or a TV show than we do about who is prime minister. Lucky our country is not run by neocons.
Hah, I used to always argue with people who made comments like that. Now I just think What is the point. Id like to think of a title: 'Canada vs. the U.S. = who cares'. I dream of that day, meanwhile the world keep spinning to hell.
Hah sorry, just made this into a mini rant of my own.
"Only in America will a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance."
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Don't think I've heard anything more correct. Well that and the rest of the post...
and... "Americans seem to forget that they have more fat-asses per square kilometer than we do people," made my day. How do they manage to fit.. what is it? three hundred million people into that country.. there's not such thing as skinny dipping in america.. just chunky dunking.
I've got nothing against america though (actually.. that's a lie..), but stop treating us like shit.