Brooklyn's Finest - oxymorons at their best

I never thought that I would leave a movie theatre with more reason than ever to dis the great U.S. of A., but here I am. I would like to remind the world two incredibly obvious, but crucially important, things: 1) Hollywood is in the States; 2) so is New York.

Earlier this evening, my friend and I planned to watch Shutter Island. Twenty-five minutes into the movie, I just couldn't stand the suspense (i.e. continuous close-ups of Leonardo DiCaprio staring at things while eerie music plays in the background). Oh, that, and the fact that the dialogue sucked, the actors sucked, the movie's set-up sucked, and the first twenty-five minutes really, really sucked. Maybe the rest was better. I don't know. Didn't bother sticking around to find out.

So my friend and I hightailed it out of there and slipped into another theatre, where Brooklyn's Finest was about to start.

Brooklyn's Finest. Hah. Hahahahaha.

Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha.

Brooklyn's Finest is euphemistic for Hollywood's Worst. Or Amongst Hollywood's Worst. Seriously. It was like watching Public Enemies all over again, except with a modern twist. I kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the action to start. Then, before I knew it (without giving away the sordid details), the movie was over. The ending, while realistic(ish), sucked (word of the day - er, night, ladies and gents).

I hate movies with no plot. I hate it when respectable actors are forced to try and act out mindless dialogues in movies with no plot. I hate movies that are graphic for the sake of being graphic, as opposed to the sake of the plot. Oh, right, I forgot - there was no plot. Brooklyn's Finest - hahahahahahaha! - was a combination of The Hours, Public Enemies, and The Departed. Thing is, though, both The Hours and The Departed had depth, had meaning - had plot! (Confusing, maybe, but it was there.) Not so much Public Enemies. Hell no, Brooklyn's Finest.

(By the way, my respect for Leonardo DiCaprio in such movies as The Departed, Blood Diamond, Body of Lies, and etc. only added to my disgust that he couldn't even put on a decent performance in Shutter Island, a movie that was destined to be bad from its opening scene.)

I am honestly shocked at how bad the movies that have been coming out lately are. Can no one come up with a half-decent idea? All those movies that Amanda Seyfried's in now? Like...wtf? Honestly? Even action movies - my favourite genre - are seriously lacking. What is going on? Do all writers have a block? Holy shit...

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it was a good movie and I'm just being a bitch. Maybe I'm too shallow, and require a movie that I can easily enjoy. Maybe what I mistake for depth is really a clear-cut story and is presented in such a way that you simply cannot mistake it for something other than what it is. Maybe I'm just stupid.

But probably not.

SO: warning against Shutter Island and Brooklyn's Finest. Both are Amongst Hollywood's Worst. And A Waste of Your Money.

Angrily yours, 
Aya